Friday, April 1, 2016

Why Our Family Doesn't Celebrate Making Someone a Fool Today

On this day, two years ago, I was at one of the lowest points in my life. To say that I was struggling would be an understatement. We had learned that our third and final IVF attempt failed. That we had no embryos to transfer from any of our cycles. And that our doctor recommended moving on to other options. It was time to face the fact that my body would likely never produce an egg with good enough quality to become a child. 

My grandmother, who was a second mother to me, had just passed away from cancer. That morning, tears soaked my pillow before I even opened my eyes and my heart ached from all of the loss in my life. I was in mourning. 

But then the most unexpected thing happened. Later that day, I found myself standing in my kitchen reading a message that would change my life forever. By the grace of God, a woman (who has the biggest heart I've ever known) found her way to this blog. After reading our struggles, she offered to gift us her eggs so that we could finally become parents. It will always be the most generous gift I've ever received. 

Our egg donor believes "it's in the giving that we receive". 
She woke up that day and saw an opportunity to change someone's life and make dreams come true and she didn't hesitate to offer to help. There were a million reasons for her to read our story and say "that's so sad for them" and go back to her own life. 

Her husband was deployed in Afghanistan at the time. She was busy parenting to her own four children. IVF is hard on your body. It requires a lot of time. For all of these reasons and so many more, she could have talked herself out of sending that message. But she didn't. Regardless of the inconvenience, stress, strain, pain or effort that the egg donation put on her body and her family, she said "I want to help". 

As our son grows up, I intend to use this day every year to teach him about giving. To be intentional about opening our eyes to opportunities to help others. To change lives. To help fulfill someone else's dreams. I can only hope, that over time, the impact of our efforts are as lasting as the impact she has had on us. 

It is because of her willingness to help that we have Mav. 
We are a family filled with love and joy. 
Our hearts are so very full.

April 1st is not April Fool's Day to us. We don't strive to play practical jokes and spread hoaxes…making people "fools". Our family celebrates something different. It's the day we celebrate the spirit of giving, empathy and helping others. Maybe through the sharing of this story…it inspires someone else to celebrate this day the same way. What a wonderful world it would be, if we could all be "helpers"… that give instead of take away. 

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