sometimes you meet people and they change your life. you don’t know at the time that they will impact your life so dramatically, but they do. later, you look back at the situation and wonder if you’d be where you are if it hadn’t been for that fateful meeting.
one of those serendipitous encounters was meeting fellow blogger suzanne in denver earlier this year. at the time, i just thought it would be fun to meet another infertility blogger and i knew that we’d have a lot in common. she and i were both traveling across country to seek fertility treatments at CCRM and we’d both had our share of heartbreak on the path to building our families.
what i didn’t know was that suzanne would become a dear friend that i will have for the rest of my life. and what i could have never predicted was the path that our lives would take, in part, because of a conversation that took place at that first meeting in denver.
suzanne and her husband T spoke candidly with A and i over lunch about their experience with egg donation at CCRM. we were very curious and asked a lot of questions. it wasn’t something we’d really thought very seriously about prior to that day. but that conversation planted a seed in us. despite our previous decision to end treatments if CCRM didn’t work out…we saw hope through suzanne and T’s story. perhaps egg donation could be the path to bring us our baby too.
before we even got word from CCRM that all of our embryos (from two cycles) were abnormal, we’d already decided to move forward with egg donation. after so much disappointment and poor response, i knew in my heart that IVF probably wasn’t going to work with my own eggs.
what if we’d never met with suzanne and T in denver? would we have decided to use an egg donor? maybe, eventually. or maybe not. but i certainly don’t think we would have powered forward so quickly into researching the egg donation process. nor would we have selected SDFC and been ready to accept the gift of K’s eggs when the opportunity presented itself. who knows how things could have been different? but i do think that everything came together perfectly to create this life growing inside of me. and certainly K and suzanne are a huge part of that story and the happy ending that i’m currently living by carrying our child.
so imagine my anguish when suzanne told me that her doctor was recommending a gestational carrier for her remaining frozen embryos. i couldn't fathom going through everything she’s already endured and then being told…”yah, so now you can’t carry your child either”. pure and utter heartbreak.
i couldn’t just stand by and watch it happen without feeling like i needed to do something. i remember telling suzanne, “i’m not giving up until i find you a surrogate so you don’t have to go through an agency”. it is so expensive to rent a uterus and agencies often stand to make almost $30,000 just for matching surrogates with intended parents and helping to guide the process.
if i could just help in some small way, by eliminating the agency cost for suzanne so that she could move forward with her dream of becoming a mother, i wanted to do that. the woman that kept coming to my mind was K. she is the angel who helped us make our dreams come true and i wondered if she could be the one to help suzanne too.
in several emails, K mentioned that she was done donating her eggs after her donation to us. but that she really has it on her heart to be a gestational carrier and help a family in that way. after the third time that K mentioned it, i decided to tell her about suzanne and put the two of them in contact.
almost exactly 5 months later, K signed the contract to be suzanne and T’s gestational carrier. it makes my heart swell that this is finally happening for my dear friend. it will be so incredible to watch our egg donor become pregnant with suzanne’s miracle baby. when suzanne and i both have our precious little ones, they will have such a special bond - knowing that the same amazing woman played a part in bringing them into this world.