Friday, September 26, 2014

fertility friday | ttc sisters

happy friday! 
hope ya'll had a fantastic week.

today, i wanted to share an awesome new website. TTC Sisters was developed for women struggling to conceive or battling infertility, to connect with others who understand what they are going through, in a safe place filled with support, encouragement and some really amazing people. on the website, you'll find forums, ttc gift exchanges, recipes, meet ups and much more.

it's truly a great site for this community. you should definitely check it out. in addition to offering support, it is a place of positivity where they showcase infertility success stories. my story (although i won't really feel like i've achieved "success status" until my baby is in my arms) was the first interview to be featured on their blog. 

i thought you might enjoy reading it so i copied it below.

What have you learned about yourself through this journey?

Our very long ttc journey (almost 6 years) has taught me that I’m stronger than I think I am. When I get knocked down, I do have the strength to keep getting back up, putting one foot in front of the other and continuing to fight for my heart’s desire.

Looking back, would you have done anything differently? If so, what?

Sometimes I wish we would’ve started trying earlier and maybe my eggs would’ve still been good. Or I wonder if we would have tried IVF sooner, if I might have been able to have a child with my eggs. But really, I don’t think I’d do anything differently. When you’re in the trenches and you don’t know how this journey will end, the fear of being childless forever drives you. But I believe this child is the one that I’m supposed to have – not one with my own eggs.

What was the most challenging part of your journey?

The most challenging part of this journey was dealing with the roller coaster of emotions that I felt throughout infertility. My hopes would rise so high and then come crashing down when we received another BFN. The longer you move through the cycle of treatments, that roller coaster goes higher and the fall is even steeper with each failure.

How has your marital relationship evolved through your journey?

My marriage is not the same as it was when we first started trying to grow our family. Not even close. A few years ago, we stopped communicating and my husband and I both put up walls to protect ourselves. At one point, the relationship had deteriorated so much that we considered separating and even discussed divorce. Something I never thought would happen. But sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to put your priorities into perspective. I realized that having a baby wasn’t the most important thing to me…saving my marriage and thriving in my relationship is much more important. It helped me realize that not being able to have a baby really isn’t the worst thing that could happen…losing my marriage is. We have both grown tremendously on this journey. Although saying I’m grateful for infertility would definitely be a stretch…I feel we were meant to go through this to grow together instead of apart.

What was the craziest old wives tale you ever tried?

Probably putting my legs in the air after baby dancing. While intuitively, it makes sense…I think it is a total wives tale and I probably looked pretty ridiculous doing it.

Did you ever want to give up? What motivated you to keep going?

There were so many times when I wanted to give up, especially after being told my best chance of success was using an egg donor. But I really don’t know how to quit trying for something that means so much to me. When you have a deep desire in your heart, how do you ignore that? I always believed that I was meant to be a mother so I had to adapt and keep trying different paths until I found myself on the one that would bring us our baby.

What should you say to a friend battling infertility?

I’m sorry. What you’re going through sucks. Hang in there. I’m here for you. And acknowledge that everyone’s journey is so different and what’s right for one person isn’t always right for another. That means don’t say “why don’t you just adopt, or relax or try IVF”. It’s best to keep your opinions to yourself and just be a good listener.

What’s one piece of advice you would give other TTC Sisters?

Breathe and take it one step at a time. This journey can be overwhelming if you look too far ahead.


Elena Ridley said...

I can definitely relate as I'm sure most of us infertiles can, I've stood on my head in my living room after BD many times, and I completely understand the concept of the longer you're on the journey the higher that rollercoaster gets and the farther down you fall with each failure. I'm really struggling with that right now, trying to get myself back up on the way to that highpoint is becoming harder now. Thanks for sharing this, I loved the interview and I love the TTC Sisters website!

Amanda said...

I read your featured post when I saw you post it on instagram... you did a fabulous job, as always!

Love to you and the little!

A Few Good Eggs said...

What a sweet post, Jessah. I'm glad they asked you about your marriage because I found infertility and related struggles to really test and ultimately strengthen mine. I look forward to following your pregnancy in the coming months!

Ashley @ Life on the Parsons Farm said...

Jessah you are so right! The roller coaster of emotions of IF get higher and lower the longer you're on it.

Emily said...

Thanks for sharing the website, and great interview. I had to laugh about holding your legs in the air. As hard as IVF was, there were actually some things that were freeing about it...including tracking ovulation with OPK's and doing crazy stuff like lying upside down like that. ha!

Em said...

I love what you would say to a friend struggling with IF. So powerful and perfect.

ADSchill said...

Oh this sounds like a great site! More are needed like this. I connected on babycenter first and then found the blogging community. I will be sure to check out the site and pass it along.


Amber said...

I love your honesty about how infertility has effected your marriage. Thank you for sharing more of yourself.

Aubrey said...

Love the answers to those questions. I totally agree that infertility absolutely brings out your strength even when you feel so incrediy weak! xo

Krystal Sullivan said...

Love this post. I heard about that whole putting your legs up in the air thing, and even though my OB said it was total crap, I did it anyway. Two years of my legs up in the air and nothing! Thanks for sharing this.

Hena Tayeb said...

thanks for sharing.. i can't even imagine what it feels like.
as for the old wives tales.. i've put my legs up in a air a few times too..

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