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Sunday, August 3, 2014

a letter to our egg donor

how do you thank someone for gifting you their eggs? there is no possible thing that you could purchase or words that could be written to really capture the emotions and gratitude that we feel. but we had to try. we wanted to find some way to express our feelings to K so that she'd know how much we appreciate what she's done for us.
on the morning of her egg retrieval, A dropped off a letter and a gift at SDFC for K. the nurse gave it to her after she woke up from her anesthesia.

the gift
the tiffany box is a promise of wonderful things to come. this saying reminded me of K's gift (her eggs) and the wonderful things that i believe would come.

TIFFANY 1837™Interlocking Circles Pendant

this is what the card in the tiffany box read. we wanted to explain the significance of the gift and why we picked it.
in our case, it takes three to make a baby. please accept this small token of our appreciation for your generous gift. may it always remind you of the lives that you've enriched and life that you helped to create. 
the letter 
i spent hours writing and rewriting. in the end, i still didn't feel like it was perfect. but it was time to print it and give it to her because i don't know that i would've ever felt it was perfect.

Dear K,  
When you read this letter, you’ll have just completed your egg retrieval. You will have finished your part in helping to create a life and giving us a chance of fulfilling a dream that has been elusive and impossible for so long. I am specifically writing this before our transfer because you need to know the impact you have had on our lives irrespective of the outcome.  
Your generosity is so incredibly inspiring. The thought that you would so selflessly give a part of yourself to help us is overwhelming and still brings me to tears. To say that your gift has touched us would be a grave understatement. Having gone through IVF several times, we know firsthand what you’ve just endured and what you’ve put your body through. It is a lot. And for a total strangers. Words could never adequately express how grateful we are for the amazing gift you have given to us.  
You’ve given us a chance at parenthood and made it possible that someday soon we might hear the words “mama” and “daddy” and know that they are meant for us. Not for someone else. While we can never repay your kindness, please know that we acknowledge how truly beautiful and special you are. And if we are blessed with a child, we hope that he/she inherits those same qualities from you. But regardless of the outcome, we thank God for bringing you to us and we thank you for the hope that we have in our hearts because we have made it this far.  
Thank you for making this all possible. From the bottom of our hearts. Thank you.
With endless gratitude,  
Jess and A
as i mentioned, nothing we could do or say could come close to what she's done for us. but i hope these small gestures made her feel special and appreciated. 


49 comments:

Just T said...

What a beautiful note and gift. K is a remarkable woman for what she did.

Northern Star said...

Beautiful Jessah. Wishing you a healthy and happy 9 months. What a wonderful gift to commemorate such a wonderful beginning for your little family. I'm looking forward to following along as you enter into this beautiful new chapter. Hugs!!!!!

K said...

The letter was perfect, note was perfect and gift is something I'll hold close forever. I'm so happy you and A will finally be parents <3 and great ones at that! I'm happy our paths crossed and I'm so excited to see your new journey into parenthood.

Megan said...

What a beautiful gift and letter. You are so lucky - but so is K!

Stacey Sprowl said...

What a beautiful and well written letter, I imagine the gift will be treasured forever. I'm in the same situation as you, with the possibility of using a egg donor.

Thank you for sharing your journey.

acoursetothefinishline said...

The necklace is beautiful, and the letter is perfect. :)

Sunflower said...

Beautiful gift and letter. So happy for you :-)

Cristy said...

This is incredibly beautiful. And I love the symbolism. Congratulations again! Your family is already so beautiful.

Charity said...

This is super sweet! What an incredible gift for incredible people. Thank you K for helping my friend achieve her dream.

Jessica said...

Your letter was absolutely beautiful, Jessah! As was the necklace, and the meaning behind it. I'm sure K will treasure that gift, and the joy that comes with knowing that she's helped a loving couple achieve their biggest dream. What an amazing experience for you both!!! I am so darn excited for you. God is so good, and I am SO excited to follow along on this pregnancy journey with you! You are going to be the cutest prego and the best mama:)

JoJo said...

What a beautiful pendant, I'm sure she loved it. I'm thankful that there's people out there like K.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jess, The necklace, and what it represents, are simply beautiful and incredibly thoughtful. The letter though, what can I say - it's amazing! As a former anonymous donor, I can only hope that my recipients were and are as thoughtful and caring as you seem to be. I'm not sure if you have contact with your donor, so on behalf of ALL donors, thank you!! Thank you, after all that you have been through, for taking the time to think of what we go through as well. But know that we do it all for you.

And as I've just read your previous blog entry - congratulations!!! I hope that the next 9 months go smoothly for you and that you have a lifetime of joy and love. You've worked harder than most people should have to in order to achieve this dream, so do take the time to pamper yourself - you've earned it for sure. Lots and lots of well wishes to you and your growing family.

Ashley @ Life on the Parsons Farm said...

This is beautiful and your words are just wonderful! So happy for you!!

futureMom said...

That is a beautiful letter! I'm sure K will love it. Congrats on your BFP! Great beta numbers!

Sausha said...

What a beautiful letter. And the necklace is absolutely perfect, what a wonderful and meaningful gift.

Laura Rahel said...

So sweet, what a gorgeous gift! Perfect for the occasion!

Endo_Life said...

Beautiful x

Amanda said...

I think it's really perfect Jessah! It's something she can wear (and proudly, who doesn't love Tiffany?) that will remind her of you and A and make her feel really good about the amazing gift she gave! I love it!

Elena Ridley said...

A beautiful gesture on your part for a beautiful gesture on hers! Great job!

Suzanne said...

Jessah, this is so poignant and beautiful. I have no doubt that this sentiment was absolutely appreciated and will be treasured always. xoxo

Elisha Kearns said...

oh jess this is such a beautiful and kind letter. It brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you! love ya!

waitingforbabybird.com

Caroline said...

Jessah - the necklace is perfect and the letter too. You have a sweet presence!!! What a blessing K is to have you and visa versa! So thoughtful of you.

Darcie K said...

Very sweet!!!! I think you're gestures and gratitude are on point :)

RunCC37 said...

I am in tears reading your letter, the note, and seeing the beautiful necklace! This whole situation is so beautiful - the selflessness of your donor and your honest and sincere gratitude. It is all so beautiful. God bless you all!!

Aramis said...

This is a lovely gift and letter. We thought about bringing our Czech donor something unique from Canada, but it wasn't allowed due to the anonymity thing. We had to settle for telling the coordinator to pass on our heartfelt thanks to the donor. You are very lucky to have found K!

Aubrey said...

This is the most beautiful letter and gift ever. I am SO happy for you!!!

Krystal Sullivan said...

What a wonderful gift. I'm sure she will treasure it always. The letter was perfectly written. As you said, there are not words that can adequately express your gratitude, but I think this letter was beautiful!

The Run Away Stork said...

Jess the gift is perfect and the letter is beautiful! You have such a sweet soul and deserve this amazing gift. So happy for you!

Sara said...

What a beautiful gesture for K. It is clear how thankful you are for her gift and there is no way she doesn't feel so appreciated. I think the best thing you can do to honor her is pay forward her love and generosity in some other way.

Lisa {Amateur Nester} said...

What a beautiful and thoughtful gift.

Stephanie Johnson said...

Perfect letter and gift

Dream Chase said...

So sweet, brought me to tears. Beautiful gift and letter. Jessah, I'm so happy you're finally pregnant!!!!

holly said...

I think the letter is perfect! There isn't much more you can say that would truly capture your feelings and emotions, those are just out of the realm of written word.

monica yard said...

This is so thoughtful and absolutely precious. Good things come to good people......even if you have to fight for it. XO

Anonymous said...

Perfect. A beautiful gift for a beautiful soul. ;)

Julia Spencer said...

What a thoughful gift and letter!

Alana Christine said...

I definitely just cried over that letter--what a heartfelt note and gift. I bet she loved it and will always treasure that necklace!

ChickinNH said...

That's so beautiful and brought me to tears. I hope K knows how much joy she has brought you and A. What a wonderful person.
Again, I am just so overjoyed for you <3

Finley S said...

Oh wow Jessah that necklace is SUCH a great symbol of what a blessing she is to you guys - you almost need to get yourself one of those too ;)
that letter is incredibly special!

shay said...

what a beautiful letter and gift!

Court @ Sweet Home Alabamian said...

AMAZING!! WHAT A PERFECTLY appropriate and so touching gift!!

Haisla said...

That's so beautifully worded - captures your feelings so well. And the pendant is just perfect - three becoming one.xx

Sarah said...

that is beautiful. the gift is perfect!

Gypsy Mama said...

wow, so beautiful!

Ashley said...

SO beautiful and thoughtful!

Amber said...

K is definitely an inspiration, but then, I believe that you are too Jessah, or she wouldn't have felt so moved to bless you with this incredible gift. You both are amazing women with an incredible story to share.

J and A said...

This is just beautiful. K is such an inspiration. Yet you are so strong and such an incredible woman yourself. SO proud of you and happy for your family.

Janna Renee said...

I'm sure that the necklace and letter meant the world to her! Both are beautiful and come from love ;)

Jessica Markley said...

This is absolutely so thoughtful and precious. I am considering being a donor. Reading this just makes my decision a little more clear. Thank you for sharing your story <3

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