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Saturday, May 3, 2014

we do need this day.

 
 
My mom sent me a link earlier this week to let me know that tomorrow is National Infertility Survival Day. I was busy at work and feeling strong. Busy allowing myself to be so distracted by whatever was right in front of me that I thought the holiday seemed so dramatic... "survival day"...what are we Vietnam vets?
 
That's the thing though. That's what we do when we are in the trenches. We allow ourselves to get so distracted and focused on whatever is right in front of us that we push all the stress and emotions down...all of the pain and the frustration. At least I do. That's how I function. 

But we are not really okay. We are surviving infertility every day. We are damaged and shell shocked. We are fighting a war against our bodies. And it is traumatic and difficult. People who've not experienced this struggle often look at our sadness with pity and then move on with their lives.

Some Most days I wish I was not 1 in 8. I wish I could live footloose and fancy free. Have a baby easily. After a drunken romp in the sack. And not have to deal with the deep emptiness in my heart. The aching of my empty arms.

And I must remind myself that none of us...and I mean none of us...leave this life unscathed. What does that mean? Well, if your life has been easy, then your time to struggle hasn't come yet...but it will.

So if someone wants to acknowledge the often unrecognized heartache that many of us face everyday just trying to become parents....giving everything we have and continually coming up short. We should just say okay and take it. Use the day to recharge. Pamper ourselves and prepare our hearts and minds for the next step...whatever that may be.

Happy National Infertility Survival Day...
congrats on making it this far.

Hoping your miracle baby is just around the next corner....


24 comments:

Elisha Kearns said...

I didn't even know there was such a day.

waitingforbabybird.com

Charity said...

Love this post Jessah, and even when we all leave the world of infertility our wounds are still deep and we will have scars. But I am so glad to know the healer and I pray her can restore us all to being good as new.

Cristy said...

I just learned about this day of recognition. Long overdue. Hoping you and many others are spending it by honoring all your hard work towards building your family/maintaining your family and living in the face of uncertainty. Thinking of you.

Elena Ridley said...

You're absolutely right in everything that you say. This has definitely been the hardest struggle of my life and I have been through some other pretty serious stuff that doesn't even compare to the hurt and heartache that infertility has brought to my life. You're a true inspiration Jess!

Ashley Sanderson said...

I know these feelings. The feelings of emptiness and trying to just get through every day. I pray God comforts you. It was always hard for me to hear that, because sometimes I didn't feel it. I hated hearing "it's in God's plan" because I would get so angry at God for not giving me a baby. How could he put us through this? I can feel those feelings like I was just feeling them yesterday. Keep pushing through girl. God doesn't give us what we can't handle, and even if at the time, we feel like we are going to fall apart, He's right there, even if we can't feel Him.

Ashley

Aramis said...

Like you said...national infertility survival day is every day. All the time. Surviving with you.

Aubrey said...

This is the first war I've heard of this day and I have to say that I'm so happy it exists. It is a day that all of those dealing with infertility deserve- amongst lots and lots of days that are so undeserved :(. XOXO

acoursetothefinishline said...

There have been studies on infertility and PTSD. It is a war of its own.

Ashley said...

I'm sorry you have to go through this struggle. Praying your baby is in your arms very soon.

JoJo said...

Wow I was unaware of the existence of this day. Everyday in the life of IF has to be considered a survival day.

Amie said...

I hadn't heard of this day before. It is tough but I won't let it define who I am. I have had struggles before and now this and I know there will be more but I will keep up the good fight! God will bring us through each and every one. I remind myself daily how blessed we are to be given life each day :)

Emily said...

You nailed it. Just because someone may not understand or have to experience infertility, they have something else difficult they will have to endure and work through. When you're going through infertility, it seems like the absolute worst thing in the world, but if we can just tell ourselves that this is just "our thing" we've been handed to deal with, it helps keep it in perspective. Maybe going through infertility will be hard enough and God will spare us going through cancer or something else horrible...at least that's what I'd like to believe and hope for.

Melissa said...

You are amazing, girl. I don't know how I'd deal with the pain and heartache you've been dealt, but you do it with such grace xo

bellehavendrive said...

I just wish this wasn't the "thing" that made us warriors, survivors, fighters. But, oh my, what stories and grit to we have to fight this battle xoxoxo...

Ashley @ Life on the Parsons Farm said...

Oh Jessah I had no idea about NISD!!! Thank you so much for sharing about it and you are so right. Its a battle each and everyday. I push things under the rug all the time and then it just all seems to rain down at once. Praying for your miracle everyday!!

atparsons.blogspot.com

Ashley said...

Hang in there friend!! I'm still rooting for you!! Your miracle us coming, it's just taking longer to perfect!! Stay strong, hold on to hope and never let go!!

Suzanne said...

Surviving. That's such a perfect word. It describes exactly what this feels like. Not living. Just surviving. Fighting each and every day. I hope your fight is coming to an end. More than you know…xoxo

Darcie K said...

very well written, Jessah. Thank you for sharing. xoxoxox

Janna Renee said...

You deserve this day because you ARE a survivor! {{HUGS}}

Eve said...

Very well said, Jessah. Thank you.

Krystal Sullivan said...

You are so right. We may not be veterans of war, but we are survivors in our own way. I don't think people realize how drained we really are from infertility. Thinking of you and all you have been through...

Ashley said...

Hi Jessah! Just wanted to answer your question from my blog. We are using Bethany Christian Services for our adoption. They don't give time frames but it's not unusual to have to wait a year or longer. As you know, we were actually matched back in Feb but it fell through. It all depends on how many waiting couples there are, how many expectant women there are, your preferences, birthmom preferences, etc. As we both know, the timing is in God's hands ultimately and His plan is perfect for our family. =)

The Preppy Vegan said...

You are simply amazing. This blog is a true gift and I'm so glad you stumbled upon mine so I could "meet" you!

Laura @ Making Baby Provence said...

This was so beautifully written. I don't think I could have said it better.

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