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Friday, March 28, 2014

remembering and healing

Even when we are going through our darkest winter,
spring is waiting to appear.
 
To say that I've experienced a very difficult few months would be a grave understatement. 
But the clouds have begun to part and the sun is peaking through. It is not shining. And it is not quite warm but there is hope and light...where there was none.

Last Spring, A and I took my grandmother to an Iris Garden to enjoy the outdoors and look at the flowers. It was a beautiful day. We enjoyed the drive, scenery, weather and our time together. Afterwards, she asked me when I was going to post the pictures from our trip. 

I don't recall what I said but likely it was some excuse as to why I hadn't done it yet. Probably that I'd get to it later. There always seemed to be something else that I had to do. Call it self-absorbed. Too focused on work. Sucked into the world of infertility. Busy with other less important things. She asked one other time about this post and then never asked again.

I should've posted these pictures then for her to see. But I didn't. So I'm posting them now. For her. For me. Grief is like that...it leaves you with all of the things that you should have said or should have done. Regrets. But that doesn't help anyone.

Instead, I must focus on the time we spent together. The experiences we shared. The memories that we made. But most of all, the love that will always exist in my heart.










24 comments:

Aubrey said...

So beautiful! XOXO

Amanda said...

What beautiful memories! I'm so glad you have these lovely photos to remember this time with your grandmother!

Infertile625 said...

Beautiful pictures. Beautiful times. She sees them now. She knows. XOXO

Emily said...

Beautiful pics of special day. Thinking of you all the time Jessah. I'm glad the clouds are parting and that the sunshine is showing itself to you. You are way too beautiful when you're smiling not to be. :)

Jennifer T said...

Beautiful pictures! So happy to here the sun is starting to peak through a little for you :)

Elena Ridley said...

Beautiful pics Jessah!!

conceptionallychallenged said...

The pictures are beautiful. Thanks for sharing! I'm so glad you had this wonderful day, and I hope the positive memories help ease your grief a bit.

A Life Without Mofongo said...

What a beautiful place

Kayla MKOY said...

These are beautiful...and I know she is loving them now :) I'm sorry you're having a difficult time....I'll be sending you some happy thoughts, ma'am!

Ashley @ Words About Waverly said...

Stopping by & these pictures are beautiful! Lots of love to you, you are one positive lady!

wordsaboutwaverly.blogspot.com

Elisha Kearns said...

wow these pictures are simply beautiful! Thank you for sharing your heart! xoxo

waitingforbabybird.com

Katie @ Loverly She said...

So glad you have precious memories to hold onto Jessah. God is faithful xx

Just T said...

Wow! Stunning pictures to say the least. You have such an amazing talent with the camera.

Lisa Mace said...

Beautiful and wonderful memories!

Miss Jenna said...

these pictures are beautiful! I just discovered your blog and so far I love it. I'm fifteen and I have been loving reading blogs.

shay said...

beautiful pictures! glad you have such great memories with your grandmother to look back on!

Lilee said...

This is so beautiful. It's coming up on two years since my grandmother passed away, and lately I've been filled with regrets on things I should have done differently in her final days and weeks. Thank you for this.

Life Happens said...

Thanks for sharing these beautiful pictures. Makes me 'feel' like Spring may actually come! May the sun always shine down on you!

Courtney Wilson said...

These pictures are lovely and so is the thought to post them! :)

Sunflower said...

Wow - so beautiful! Irises are my favorite flower - thanks for posting. Made me smile!

Em said...

What beautiful photos...and what a beautiful relationship.

Logan said...

Such a beautiful post... the pictures, the words, the memories, all so beautiful.

Janna Renee said...

It's moments like these that keep us going :) {{HUGS}}

Amber said...

Beautiful pictures! You are right, regrets don't do anybody any good. Remember the good times and special memories. I'm sure you have lots of special memories to look back upon. Hugs!

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