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Saturday, January 4, 2014

fresh start


Nothing like starting off 2014 with fresh snow. 
On the first morning of the new year, I woke to snow in Denver. For those of you that live in an area where it snows, it's probably not a big deal. But I haven't woke up to snow much since my days living in Boston…almost ten years ago. So it's a novelty.

What I love about the snow is how fresh and clean it is. It is purifying. All white everywhere. Soft, shimmery powder. It's like a new beginning. A fresh start. Kind of like the New Year. It was magical. I woke up early and walked around the neighborhood. My foot prints were the first to mark the path.

I've felt really tranquil this cycle. Whatever will be, will be. But I believe that our miracle baby is on its way. And I know in my heart that we have done everything we could do to make it happen. No regrets. Before I left for Denver, I borrowed some luggage from my friend D. She is pregnant right now with TWINS girls from CCRM. This is the text she sent me after I left her house:
"You looked beautiful last night. There was a strong and confident yet calm and peaceful aura surrounding you. And that is such a great way to go into this cycle."
That is exactly how I feel. At peace. 



My follicles are doing really good and my estradiol (223 on Weds and 668 today) has finally caught up to where it should be. 

Day 6 of stims
(left) 9.6mm, 9.2 mm, 8.4 mm, 7.9 mm, 6.9 mm, 6 mm, 3.7 mm
(right) 9.7 mm, 8.3 mm, 4. 1mm, 3.4 mm

Day 8 of stims
(left) 11 mm, 10 mm, 10 mm, 8 mm, 8 mm, 8 mm, 7 mm
(right) 11 mm, 11 mm, 5 mm, 4 mm, 4 mm

The 5 and the 4s on the right are probably too small but everything else is growing pretty close together. I'm ecstatic. This is huge for me. My little eggs are growing slow and steady. My retrieval was planned for Tuesday but it is going to be pushed back to later in the week…probably Thurs or Fri.

I'm enjoying my quiet time in Denver. A little mall walking in the snow. Exploring new areas of the city in my rental ride. Going to yoga. The neighborhood studio offers a free week pass. My nurse cut me off from hot yoga after my first session but last night I did restorative yoga. It was quite nice.


 
Please send some positive vibes to our ttc sister Desiree at Stripes and Pearls. She is on pins and needles waiting to find out if five of her eggs are going to make it. 
Fingers crossed for you, honey.

Hope you're all enjoying the New Year so far! And if you're preparing to brave the storm today, good luck and stay warm. I'm off to the clinic in a snowstorm at 6:30AM to pick up needles for my morning injection because I ran out. Ugh. #InfertilityProbs …and yes, I just hashtagged my blog post. ;)


50 comments:

Aubrey said...

I love that mall in Lone Tree :). I'm thinking of you- it sounds like your follicles are growing perfectly- I am so happy that you're at peace with this cycle- I'm praying so hard for you and your miracle baby! XOXO

Caravan Sonnet said...

Beautiful lady!! Praying that this is the cycle!! What an inspiring way you not only write but the way that you are living this cycle!! Thank you for encouraging and challenging me!! Quick question- I had not heard of "restorative yoga"- do you mind me asking what that is?
:) Thanks!
:) Rebecca

Emily said...

You look and sound so peaceful. Your follies are doing so awesome. Jessah, I think this is really going to be IT!!!

Anne said...

You sound so at peace--what a wonderful way to go into this cycle. I have a good feeling about this for you!

And Denver looks so beautiful!

Amanda said...

Oh the snow! That, if nothing else should calm your heart and bring peace to your soul! Like I told Aubrey, there is something really special about Colorado! I hope the fresh mountain air is equally good to you as it has been to her! It sounds like a great cycle, Jessah! I'm excited for you! Grow follies, grow!

Just T said...

Beautiful snow. I really love Colorado. Your follicles are doing wonderful and growing nice and steady. I have a good feeling!

Sybil@PeaceitallTogether said...

You sound wonderful. I hope that God continues to grant you his peace through this process. The snow is beautiful :)

Sarah said...

I love this update Jessah! Sounds like your body is responding beautifully. KMFX for you!

Elena Ridley said...

Yay! Growing follies!! That's awesome. Being tranquil and at peace is the best way to be. No stress! Fingers crossed!

Infertile625 said...

I like it! Your attitude and peace that is! You are such a patient person. I admire that! Wishing only good outcomes for this cycle.

Elisha Kearns said...

I'm praying for you girl and I'm so thankful that you have such a calm peace around you...peace that only God can give. I hope everything goes well :) We are suppose to get the snow late tonight/tomorrow morning. I guess I should go to the store just in case I don't feel like getting out in it like you. hehe

waitingforbabybird.com

jAllen said...

What a great post! I grew up in New England and while for the most part I don't miss the snow or the cold at all since we moved to CA, I do remember how special it was to wake up in the morning and discover that it snowed over night. It is extra fitting for the start of a new year and your pictures of Denver are beautiful! I'm happy that you're making the most of your time and it sounds like your ovaries are kicking some ass! Keep it up!

Ashley {Life on the Parsons Farm} said...

Great stats! This is going to be the cycle! Prayers girlfriend.

lo @ crazy ever after said...

Feeling all sorts of positivity for you this cycle!! Enjoy this special time while you wait for your retrieval. Yoga sounds amazing!

JoJo said...

Yay! I'm so glad everything is comin along great. Slow n steady definitely wins the race. Denver does look beautiful covered in snow. U do look beautiful in that pic. Keep that peace and calmness it's necessary during this time. Best of luck Jessah!

Cristy said...

Been following and cheering you. Grow follies grow!!!! Everything's is crossed, Jessah. Everything.

D. said...

My dearest, Jessah. It seems that both us are in the same mindset- peaceful and hopeful. Something has shifted for thr both of us. I, too, received feedback from a handful of people regarding the way I looked and my aura. Hold on tight to the hope, white light (snow) and strength. We got this! Ps. Thank you for the shoutout! I am definitely going to return the favor. ♡

JenS said...

Living in SoCal , I get excited for fresh snow, too. And Denver is beautiful covered in snow like that - before anybody has walked or driven on it. What a nice way to start off the new year. Sounds like you are in a good place.

Kristin said...

Love this post. Thinking of you. Can't wait until your day comes!

Steph said...

Your positive outlook is inspiring. I hope that this cycle brings you your miracle. P.S. Your blog design is beautiful :)

SmallTownFamily said...

Everything about this post makes me smile. Everything.

I cannot wait to hear about how great your retrieval is going to be!

To more snow flakes, relaxation, meditation, long walks, and yoga. :)

Non Sequitur Chica said...

No regrets- that's the name of this game! I'm glad you are going in relaxed and knowing that you have done everything that you can do. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your follicles keep growing big and that your retrieval goes great!

alison said...

Wishing you well and sending positive vibes to Denver :)

Jennifer T said...

It looks so beautiful there! So happy to hear you are in such a great place and everything continues to be going well :)

Lisa Mace said...

Good luck!! Praying for you!

Caroline said...

Love that you have a peace!! A peace that is only explained by Him!!! So glad you are enjoying some yoga too! I went today for the first time in about 9 months and hadn't realized how much I missed it! Keep us updated! Believing!

Sadie said...

I love this post and the calm vibe that comes across. I have always found snow to be restorative and purifying too; and growing up in Canada and now being far from there, it's something I really miss. I have everything crossed for you this cycle and am sending all the good vibes I can muster!

Stephanie F said...

Happy New Year, Jessah. You look gorgeous and peaceful. I'm praying for your miracle baby!

Liz said...

Sounds like things are going really well. Good luck this cycle!

Aramis said...

I can't get too excited about the snow, since I'm surrounded by it and I'm not feeling the love for it like you are. But I can get excited about that follicle growth! Go go go!

Morgan Brooks said...

Beautiful! You certainly look like you're at peace! I'm praying for your little follies to keep growing steady and strong! This looks like such a promising cycle, Jessah, I am so excited for you! Lots of love and peace your way! Xox

Ashley said...

Praying for a successful cycle! Enjoy your time away!

Jessica Cai said...

What gorgeous winter shots--and Happy 2014! The New Year definitely brought a new hope, excitement and peace for me as well.

I really enjoy your blog so far and would love to follow each other--please join my GFC and I'll follow you right back!

StylizedLuxe
Instagram

xo Jess

Aislinn said...

I'm wishing you peaceful, calming vibes! I really hope this is your cycle, you and A deserve it so much. Fingers crossed that everything will go well for you guys.

Marcy said...

Beautiful photos and such a sweet message from your friend!

The Run Away Stork said...

Love this post. I've been in such a negative place since my BFN. Your post and positivity are inspiring. Sending you good vibes and prayers for a successful retrieval with lots of healthy eggs!!

Suzanne said...

Your friend is so sweet and so right. You do look at peace. And you should be!! You're having a great response!! I'm so excited for you. xoxo

Mrs B. said...

You look beautiful. I love how zen you are as well. I have a good feeling about this! Fingers crossed for you lovely.

amywales121 said...

You do look so beautiful and at peace! I'm praying for continued peace and that this will lead to beautiful dimpled babies for you!

Northern Star said...

Sending you so much positivity Jessah!!!!!!! You are beautiful andI have a very good feeling about this too! xoxo

StyleDestino said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Such a beautiful start of 2014, u look amazing and happy. Have a great year ahead

www.styledestino.com

Always Maylee said...

Those are some great numbers for this cycle! I'm excited for you and I'm glad you are in a calm and peaceful mindset. It can only help! :)

xo, Yi-chia

Anonymous said...

Prayers for an amazing 2014 for you!!

Mrs. Lost said...

You look great, and I am sending good vibes your way for 2014!

bellehavendrive said...

Sooo awesome, Jess! Enjoy the rest of your grow-cation ... as much as you can. xoxo

kharini said...

You do look beautiful and I'm very hopeful for you. You are in the best place to get those beautiful eggs out and get the baby you deserve. xo

conceptionallychallenged said...

You look great, and I'm so glad you are enjoying the snow, the freshness of the new year! I am so hopeful for you for this cycle.

Janna Renee said...

Fingers crossed for your friend!!

Amber said...

I love waking up to snow! I'm so glad to read about how calm and peaceful you felt going into this cycle. The numbers look good! I hope they continued to be....

Anonymous said...

Hi Jessah! I came across your blog accidentally and I felt I should write you to send some positive thoughts your way! One thing I have learned on my difficult journey that I want to share with you is that the mind is a powerful thing. Despite what you have been through and been told, convince yourself and your body that you WILL have a child of your own, with your own eggs. Remind yourself of this daily, as often as possible! Remember, doctors practice medicine - they are not Gods. Many women have been told they cannot use their own eggs or even have children and have gone on to be successful. I truly believe stress and strength of mind can influence that. I myself know how hard it is to do since I have been through so many disappointments and days where it all seems so unfair, exhausting and confusing. However, I try to take heart that everything is happening right at this moment as it should be, although we may not understand it. Im not sure if you are religious, but if you are, you may find comfort knowing that God's plan is perfect, although we may not understand why things are happening right now as they are. I am sure you are going through so much stress, as I know I have been as well. Try as hard as you can to just let it all go, knowing you WILL have a child, just be patient and let things happen as they will. Why not give your mind and body a break? Try the endo diet - I have done it for a year and Jessah I have absolutely no pain! It is hard to stick with it at first, but then you get creative and see its so worth it. Let me know if you want some recipes :) Have you tried giving your mind a break as well? You have been through much more than most girls your age. See what would happen if you focus more on yoga, family, husband, friends etc. and let the blog go for awhile so that you dont spend more time thinking of it..even if this is just for a month. Be good to yourself Jessah, keep the faith and take heart that you will have a child xo

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