This is my hail mary cycle. My leap of faith. The one that's gotta do the trick. At the beginning of my cycle, I was pretty relaxed. So much so that I forgot to start my estrace until the following day. Apparently, it wasn't a big deal and all was still okay.
But now, I'm starting to get a little worried and scared. Terrified if I'm being honest. I don't even want to think the "what if this doesn't work" question because…it HAS to work. All I can do is pray and be thankful for all of you angels out there who've supported us over the years.
Yesterday, I had my local monitoring appointment (suppression check) down in sunny San Diego. La Jolla to be exact. A and I were visiting his family for Christmas. It was sunny and 78 in December. Perfect weather. I'm hoping that is a good omen for the start of my cycle.
At one point during our trip, I had a mini estrogen-induced breakdown. It. was. not. pretty. But I'm so grateful this guy was there to pick me up despite all of the ugliness and move past it. He reminded me that what we've been going through for FIVE very long, exhausting, emotionally-draining years is not easy. True that, A.
Nothing about this journey is easy. In fact, I'm currently engaged in the biggest fight of my life….battling infertility. Trying to stay positive and keep sight of my dream…our baby. The reason I've put myself and my marriage through the ringer.