Dr. S had the genetic counselor bring it up to us again today. The idea of banking. Banking whatever embryos we get this cycle, going home to cycle again, coming back for another egg retrieval and doing PGD testing on our bank of embryos after we've pooled them together from both cycles. He mentioned this in our ODWU in June and it didn't go over well.
This time wasn't much better. We understand why he's suggesting it. Our potential for success is much higher if we do this. We are paying almost $7k to do genetic testing on our embryos and there may not be much to test. If we bank them, it saves us money on the genetic testing on our next IVF cycle. But this logic only works if you know you'll be returning for another IVF cycle if this one fails.
I was supposed to trigger yesterday for a Wednesday retrieval. Each day they give me one more day to grow these follicles. But this is it. I've used the last of my second order of stim meds tonight. Pending anything crazy, I'll trigger tomorrow night for a Friday egg retrieval surgery.
Nurse sweet pea thinks we will get eggs from the 5 largest follicles plus maybe the 11mm on the left.
Six eggs if we're lucky.
Then you start doing the math.
15% usually don't fertilize when they inject each egg with sperm (ICSI)
50% of the embryos typically don't make it to the day 5 blast stage for PGD testing
40% are likely to have chromosomal abnormaliities (due to my age) and will be unavailable for transfer
If I'm average, I'll have one normal embryo to transfer after everything we've been through.
That's if my embryo is not one of the unlucky 2% that don't survive the thaw.
Then I have a 70% implantation rate once that embryo is transferred to my uterus.
To bank or not to bank.
If we say yes, we're essentially "banking" on this cycle failing. What if we just take a leap of faith? Believe that our eggs and embryos will beat these averages.
Have faith that this is going to work out despite the horrible odds.
Believe the age old saying that all infertiles hate to hear "it only takes one."
I think we're going to have to. We need to bank on "success". I don't know that we have much of a choice. A and I can't continue to go through this. We are tapped out. Financially. Emotionally. Physically.
Last night, I didn't sleep much. I tossed and turned. Thinking about what to do. To bank or not to bank. Today I was exhausted and emotional. And no closer to an answer. It was one of the most draining, difficult days of my life thinking about this decision.
A and I fought. I cried. Cried until I couldn't breathe. I'm scared of this IVF failing. We've put so much into it. But as I fall asleep tonight, I'm choosing to pray and have faith that my embryo(s) are fighters. These ones. The ones I'm growing right now. They are strong and will make it through each of the upcoming hurdles. I choose to believe they will become babies.