Wednesday, August 14, 2013

things are not always what they seem.

Why does a gorgeous girl who appears to have everything take her own life? It is the question I've been asking myself all day.

Watching The Bachelor is a guilty pleasure that my husband and I share. We watch it religiously every season despite A's declarations after every frustrating episode that he's not watching it anymore. It is a show filled with beautiful people - some who seem to have everything together and others...well, not so much. 

The train wrecks are certainly entertaining. But we also watch it for the potential of true love. To root for our favorite cast member and hope to see their love story unfold.

One of the most beautiful people to appear on Bachelor and Bachelor Pad in 2010 was Gia Allemand. She was one of our favorites from the beginning with her sweet demeanor. Like the rest of America, A and I watched as she got her heart broke by Jake Pavelka. The fact that Jake chose the dramatic Vienna over our lovely Gia was flabbergasting. Then we thought she might've found love with Wes Hayden on Bachelor Pad.

That didn't work out.

But Gia did find love off-screen with a boy named Ryan Anderson. Ryan, a pro basketball player for the New Orleans Pelicans, and Gia have been dating for a few years. They seemed so happy. Gia was over-the-moon about him and thought he was the one.

Ryan is from my hometown. His sister Rachel does my make up and we've chatted about what a cute couple Ryan and Gia make. In fact, Gia and I exchanged these tweets just last year when I ran into Ryan at a restaurant near my home.

Yesterday, I heard that Gia was in the hospital in critical condition. I've been thinking about her and saying prayers for her and her loved ones for the last 24 hours. Assuming that she'd been involved in some horrific accident, her condition reminded me how short life could be for any of us.

I didn't know she'd attempted suicide. 
Now that I know, I can't stop asking myself...why.

At 29 years old, she was in the prime of her life.
Ridiculously gorgeous. Former model. Actress.
An amazing boyfriend and a family who loves her.
No money problems that I'm aware of.

From the outside looking in, she had everything.

So why? 
How does life get so bad that you're willing to end it?
I can't even comprehend the level of pain, angst and depression that she must've been feeling on Monday to decide that hanging herself was a better option than living.

It is a reminder that things aren't always what they appear to be. I know nothing more about Gia's life than what she (herself) put out there on Twitter and Instagram. Maybe a little more through my connection with her boyfriend's sister. But she seemed vivacious, happy and living a full life...that anyone would be happy to have. 

I don't know why she took her own life. The people closest to her may not even know.
But I want to say a prayer right now for all of the people suffering in their own private hell. And the loved ones left behind when someone decides their life has become...unlivable. 
RIP Gia.


Helene said...

wonderful post with such a sad event. it really does make us ask why and it's so hard to understand. maybe we never will. truly such a sad thing to happen.

Team Harries said...

so incredibly sad!!

Gypsy Mama said...

so sad.... and you are right,you never know how someone's life really is when you are only looking from the outside. Even people who seem to have it all are suffering.

Sarah said...

So well put, Jessah. Praying for her family.

Sarah said...

I was wondering "why" too! Loved her on The Bachelor! She was so beautiful and sweet. It is so true that we never really know what is going on in someone's head and heart :( My heart breaks for her friends and family.

Brittany Lea said...

Depression is so scary, I can't imagine what it feels like. Such an awful thing, I never watched her on TV but she seemed like her life was going so well, just makes you realize you never really know what is going on with someone.

kharini said...

I had no idea who she was before reading your post. Never watched the bachelor. But it is heartbreaking to find out people have been suffering so much they believed dying was a better option. So so sad.

Yes, prayers to her and her loved ones, I can't imagine the pain, guilt, sadness of those around her that didn't see this coming. It's sad for everyone involved.

Chantal said...

Although it might seem someone has it all it doesn't mean they are happy, unfortunately. I don't know anything about this young lady but I'm very sorry to hear she was going through such a hard time she decided to end her own life :(

Emily said...

Depression is such an elusive thing. I think it's really hard for anyone who hasn't experienced severe depression to understand the level it can get to. Extreme sadness is NOT depression...two different animals entirely. I am glad it sounds like you have not experienced the type of depression that bring someone to that point (Thank God!), but when someone does it's as if they just can't control any other mental disorder. So many people go through it, but I think it catches us all by surprise when there is someone like this who seems to "have it all." So sad. Poor girl. :(

Whitney B. said...

I was so shocked when I first heard the news, like you I just thought she was in an accident, no idea that it would be suicide. So very sad. We had a young man, 19, in our town a month ago who committed suicide, it's just so hard to even understand, but prayers are always with those who are affected by something so tragic.

Jennifer Juniper said...

I know... this made me so sad to hear. I just hope more people will reach out when they need help.

shay said...

this is such a sad and tragic story. she was so beautiful and was always one of my favorites on reality tv. it's such a shame that she felt like she had no other options and no one to confide in or turn to. i was so shocked and saddened when i read this the other day... RIP Gia.

Sillymama said...

This is such a sad story. The truth is, we never know what a person is truly feeling and thinking even when everything appears so "perfect." I hope her family can get through such a difficult time.

Aramis said...

It's so true, whether it's a couple you thought would last forever that gets divorced, or the person you think has it all committing suicide. You never know what's happening in people's lives. All the more reason for kindness, whenever possible.

Kristin said...

I too can't seem to wrap my head around it. So sad

Amber said...

So sad. Incredibly painful for her family and friends. Even when someone looks to have the "perfect" life, you never know what's really going on inside them. Life truly is short and we need to cherish the moments we get.

Em said...

I had heard bits and pieces of this story but I didn't really understand what happened or who she was til I read this. I am so, so saddened by this. What you wrote here was a lovely but very real tribute.

Infertile Private Parts said...

So so sad..RIP Gia...

and sidenote since we share the same passion for Vienna(gag) she was married to my husbands best friend Josh(Marine Corps) she cheated on him spent his money on a boob job while he deployed and thats why she is divorced. Watching that season I yelled at the tv and cringed. What a liar.

Janna Renee said...

The Bachelor/Bachelorette puts SUCH unrealistic goals, ideas of love, and pressure on these people. I actually can't watch it, because the likelihood of someone finding REAL love on that show is pretty much nil. They may think it's love, but it's not. If Gia had real love with Ryan, than she probably wouldn't have still felt that something was missing. But more than likely, she probably has inner turmoil or hormonal issues that have been undiagnosed. So sad.

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