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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

next steps

Happy Wednesday!

Right now, we are in operation "get ready for IVF" mode. There are so many things that we I have to do before we can start cycling in Denver.

Remember when I got my mammogram last month. Well Dr. S doesn't feel comfortable with the results. Before moving forward, I have to get a biopsy on that cyst to make certain it is not a cancerous tumor. I'm thankful that CCRM is so thorough but it is a pain in the rear when you're trying to get things moving.

I'm in the process of trying to get an insurance authorization for the biopsy now. But it's proving more difficult than one would imagine. I heart insurance companies! 

Here are some of the other things on my to-do list prior to starting IVF in Denver.


After our experience at CCRM, we considered switching back to our local clinic for a millisecond. But then decided that nothing had changed. We didn't fly all the way to Denver for personal attention or the ease of billing. Our decision was based on the clinic's results, reputation and world-class lab. Although it would've been nice if I'd left the clinic with warm, fuzzy feelings inside. But I didn't. So what. I'm over it. But the reasons we went there in the first place still apply. That being said, we are moving forward. 

I've been dragging my feet about telling my local RE that we are going to CCRM. I held off just in case we changed our minds. Also, I hate addressing things like this. But I finally bit the bullet. In the letter, I thanked them for their care and attention over the last several years and asked if they'd be willing to do my outside monitoring. The response that I get back from them should be interesting. 

I'm allowing myself to feel somewhat hopeful again that this IVF will be a success. My aunt suggested I create a wish board to better visualize bringing home a baby after all this. The way I'm feeling right now. I just might do that. 

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31 comments:

Aubrey said...

I'm glad that you've made a decision and that you have a list of action items. CCRM Is SO overwhelming - there's so much to do and get done before you even begin cycling with them - but I have to believe it'll all be worth it in the end. I'm praying that's the case for both of us! xoxo

Sarah said...

Eeek! I just got goosebumps at the end of your post about the wish board (because I did this once and think it's a GREAT idea) and that quote from the ED poem?? One of my faves. In one of my college courses we had to pick a poem and memorize it and recite it to the class. I chose that one and obviously little did I know that down the road those words would give me such strength! So glad to hear you guys are moving forward and I hope all goes well with the biopsy! So many hoops..but it's good they are being thorough!

Sarah at Midwest Pillowtalk said...

i made lists on top of lists on top of lists.
i really hope that you get good news from the biopsy and continue to as you move forward. im hoping big for you pretty lady!

waiting and wishing said...

I could not agree more, while it sucks the warm and fuzzies weren't there, that is not really what you are paying thousands of dollars for. I think you are absolutely making the right decision going with a clinic and lab that are well known for greatness. I have big hopes for you, and wish you nothing but the best!

Charla (SHar-la) said...

Thanks fornthebcomment on my blog! I've been such a slacker about updating lately, and I MISS it! When we were going through infertility and the treatments and process of trying to conceive, blogs and message boards were my lifeline. When I miscarried, they were a crucial part of my healing. Anyway, just wanted you to know, I'm happy to answer questions or just "chat" about our experience if you ever need an ear. Also, the Emily Dickinson quote, "Hope is the thing with feathers that per he's in the soul,"...I bought that in a framed print when we were going through our struggle to have a baby. It hangs in my kitchen now. :)

Kristin J said...

So glad you are moving forward! Prayers that this is it for you!

Always Maylee said...

I know it must be such a pain when you just want to get things moving and you have to do what seems like a million things before it! Hang in there. I hope you only get good news from now on! :)

xo, Yi-chia

Aspgriswold said...

I love the idea of doing the wish board. Positive thinking can only help! I have so many thoughts being sent your way.

Amanda said...

EEEEEK! So exciting... well not the long list, and certianly not the biopsies... that's not exciting at all, but the decision to move forward, to go for it at CCRM: THAT is exciting! So hopeful! Wishing you all the best as you cross things off your list!

Laura said...

I love the idea of a wish board! Hoping the process will start moving faster for you! Fingers crossed for all good things to come!

Well-intentioned said...

I just kept a notebook with results, questions, and to-do lists. So glad to hear you've made such a big decision and now you can move on full steam ahead!

Darcy Kristy said...

First of all, as a former teacher, I love your perfect handwriting! Secondly, I love and support the idea of a wishboard! Such a good idea! I might have to steal it :)

Gypsy Mama said...

I'm glad you are feeling optimistic, hope is a powerful thing... I love the idea of a wish board!

Suzanne said...

I'm sure it's a relief to have the decision made, and moving forward. I've heard they take a while for their cycles, but I know it's because they are leaving nothing to chance. Another reason they have such high stats I'm sure. Good luck with getting everything on your list checked off. (love the quote)

shay said...

Love the quote... glad you have a plan that you're ok with. As long as CCRM gets you the results you want in the end that's what you have to focus on!

rhonda said...

Jessah. I am truly hoping with all my heart that it works out for you.

Alicia said...

What a happy Wednesday indeed!!! I'm so happy to read this post and to see that you have decided to move forward with CCRM! You guys are amazing - sending you all the hope I have for the happiest of endings for you Jessah!

Best of luck! I'll be rooting for you the whole way!

Shannon Elise said...

I am so glad your hope is returning Jess! You have every reason to be hopeful. Your journey may have gotten a bit longer, with a few unplanned stops, but you will get there! At least all your bases will be covered. xo

Melanie Schultz said...

Thinking of you! Seems like you have a lot to do! But I know you'll do great!

Team Harries said...

Prayers for you!! Glad that you are moving forward. You are so organized with your lists (and your super fabulous handwriting, btw)!! Hugs!

Whitney B. said...

I'm sure writing that letter to your previous RE was difficult, but in the end this is about you, hubby, and baby. You are going to do great, things will fall into place, power in positive thinking. You can do this!!!

Cristy said...

I'm glad to hear that you're moving forward. Does it still boggle my mind that you had the experience you did at CCRM? Yes. But, at the end of the day, I think the important factors you were looking for are still there. And it is entirely possible that as you begin to cycle and get to know the care team that the warm fuzzies will appear.

Hoping the insurance company starts to cooperate (cause, ugh) and that you fly through your list. And holding onto hope with you for this upcoming cycle.

Aramis said...

You have very neat and pretty handwriting. :) You're right about CCRM...at the end of the day, it's about the results and not how you get treated along the way. I have so much crossed for you!

Mrs B. said...

Wow! That's a lot of tests. It is very good they are being thorough but it really is a hold up isn't it?

JoJo said...

I heart insurance companies too. -_- They are sooo fun to deal with. I hope you can check everything off your list and you dont stress to much about it. Glad you made a decision that both of you can agree on. Wishing the best of luck, fx for an awesome outcome!

Taylor Elyse said...

I love that poem and that you're keeping hope alive!

Northern Style Exposure said...

I hope it's a great success! My thoughts are with you!

conceptionallychallenged said...

I'm glad you're feeling better about the cycle options. The wish board sounds like a lovely idea -- I kind of turned our fridge into one, though the baby dreams are mixed with other, more mundane stuff. But looking at it makes me smile :)

Unknown said...

Jess, I thought of you today. I had my consultation for my 2nd IVF today and just to summarise - after waiting a full 2 hours to be seen, the doctor was rude and treated us like crap! I walked out of that office feeling somewhat low, and in fact, as soon as I got into my car, burst out in tears.

Not only did we have to wait for so long to discuss something so sensitive, we were treated like we had not feelings at all and it was a neeeexxxtttt kinda approach. To top it all we only got 10 minutes with the specialist and spent most of the time with his assistant! Then when I started asking him questions he started getting nervous and was snappy at me :(

During this experience I thought about your blog and how you too felt the same way... yet I am on the other side of the world and still faced exactly the same scenario!

However, after the appointment I called my sister who always knows what to saw when I am at rock bottom and I wanted to share this with you.

These people will never learn nor change and they will keep making people like us feel hurt. But we need to take the high road and see them as a simple link to reach our objective, with no senitmental values attached.

They offer us a service to hopefully get the result we want, and we take it. The end. If we stop expecting them to be all cuddly and nice, and approach it with a neeeeeexxxtt kinda approach (just like them) I think we can get through it better :)

If you need to get all mushy and cuddly, you have your hubby for that support! Who needs a cold senseless doctor for that!

In conclusion, use them to reach your goal and follow their instructions. When its time for the cuddly parts reach out for your partner who is the most important person in your life and through this procedure.

Wishing you all the luck for you next IVF session! xxxxxxx

Em said...

That's E.D. quote is one of my absolute favorites. Also, I think the wish board is a great idea.

Amber said...

I'm so glad you are feeling hopeful again. Hopefully you still are, even though I am a few weeks behind in reading this! I admire your attitude toward CCRM. You are right, you are going there for the end result they can hopefully help you achieve. I've been thinking about you and am wishing you the best.

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