It feels like I've been sucker punched in the stomach.
My IVF nurse coordinator called me with the results of my blood test.
It was beyond bad.
My E2 level (estrogen) came back really low.
She began asking me, am I sure that I've been taking my injections? Am I sure that we are doing it right? A is a paramedic. We are doing it right.
My estradiol level tested at 37.6.
Normal levels are between 250-700 after 5 days of stim meds.
They said if it were in the thousands, they'd back off my drugs.
Baseline levels at the start of your cycle are between 25-75.
Mine is 37.6.
How is it possible that the drugs have not been working AT ALL?
Dr. M wanted me to come in for an ultrasound to see what my follicles look like.
I hardly slept last night as I grieved our October baby that I'd become attached to in my mind.
I just knew there had been no mistake in the lab which is the best that I could've hoped for.
This morning, Dr. M took a look at my lazy ovaries.
I had (2) 10mm follicles and (3) 6mm on the right and (1) 6mm on the left.
He recommended canceling the cycle.
Just like that...done.
28 shots for nothing.
$3,500 in drugs wasted.
And it's back to the drawing board.
This morning, I woke up laughing (like a crazy person) because of the irony that I was worried about getting OHSS when A gave me too much Gonal-F. How silly of me to think that I would overstimulate. For some reason, I was more prepared that we might not end up in our desired destination (with baby in arms) than I was to not even be able to leave the station. Last night was rough. A and I are sad and super disappointed but there is nothing to be done but to move forward.
A and I talked a lot with Dr. M about why I'm not responding to the drugs.
He said that some people have a hyper-sensitivity to the Lupron which suppresses the ovaries. He thinks that might be the case with me. He'd like to start over and try a different protocol.
Provera for 7 days to induce my period
28 days of a lower dose BCP
Swap Gonal-F for Follistim
Max dose of stims - 225IU Follistim and 225IU Menopur
Ganirelix instead of Lupron
I asked him if the BCP could also be making my ovaries lazy. He said it was possible and he is willing to try a protocol without BCP if that is what I want. But the BCP are used to stabilize all of the follicles and make sure they are the same size at the start. If they are growing at different rates, I could only end up with only a few eggs that are the right maturity. He prefers the plan above.
We talked about Diminished Ovarian Reserve. I wanted to know if that could be responsible for my ovaries not responding to the drugs. He said it is possible. My FSH was normal last time they tested but that was almost two years ago. So we are testing my AMH level as soon as my period starts to try to get some more information.
Since I won't be using Gonal-F on my next cycle, I don't need the extra drugs that I have and can't sell it because it has been opened. If anyone would like it, please let me know. I have about 300IU (100IU left in the bottom of 3 pens) and I have 750IU left out of a 900IU pen.
To lift my spirits, I'll be indulging in all of the things that I've been denying myself. A and I are going to have sushi for dinner this weekend and I'll be having a glass of wine and a bath tonight. Hopefully these small things will help to take a little of the sting out of the fact that there will be no baby for us in 2013.