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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

"oops, I'm sorry babe."


It started out bad last night. When I get home from work every night, I lay out all of my drugs, needles and other paraphernalia because I get a enjoyment out of seeing my heap of medical supplies dwindle. Then I do the easiest shots first. I give myself the Lupron injection in my upper outer thigh and then A comes in and gives me the Gonal-F and then Menopur injections in the stomach.

my daily drug stuff
Usually the Lupron injections don't hurt. It's a small needle and the injection site bleeds very little (if at all). Unless I hit a blood vessel. This happened a week and a half ago. It was a bleeder and I have still a bruise. So last night, I hit another one. Ouch.
right: last night's damage | left: almost two week old bruise
But that wasn't the worst of it. The first two nights I was getting 300IU of Gonal-F. This drug comes in pens. And each of the first two nights, we used one 300IU pen per night...easy. But then my dosage dropped down to 225IU each night. So we are supposed to use the 900IU pen for four doses. It is a multi-use pen where you select the amount of the drug and inject. We used the pen Monday night for my 225IU dose. Then last night I got out the same pen, checked my dosage and told A that I needed 225IU. He gave me the injection. While I was waiting for him to mix the Menopur, I notice the pen didn't look like it had enough drug for two more injections. Then I saw that the dose line was set at 450IU. 


I started to panic and burst into tears. Telling A "you gave me too much. You gave me the max dose. Why did you give me 450IU? I told you 225IU." A explained that he thought we had to add the amounts together (225IU + 225IU = 450IU). I told him there is no adding. You just set to desired dose and inject. He was over thinking it and said "I'm so sorry babe." 

It was an honest mistake. But we were both freaking out a little bit as we didn't know how much damage this little mistake would cause. To me. To our eggs. To the IVF cycle in general. We held off on Menopur while we had the clinic's answering service page Dr. M. It took him 30 minutes to call us back. {Random fact: The last time we paged Dr. M after hours was exactly a year ago regarding post-surgery complications from my laparoscopy.}

We sat on the bed and waited. Those 30 minutes dragged on forever. Both of us were worried. Me...with images of being hauled off in an ambulance Giuliana Rancic style due to Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). Him...feeling really bad and beating himself up about the mistake. Then we decided to consult Dr. Google (I know, I know. A fellow IVFer, K just warned me not to do this). We found fertility forums with discussions about people experiencing poor egg quality with too much Gonal-F. Finally, I had to close the iPad because we are getting stressed out. 

When Dr. M called, he was not too concerned. He said too little of the drug is much worse than too much. After reviewing my drug protocol, he told us to hold off on giving the Menopur and then adjusted our Gonal-F down to 150IU tonight to compensate for giving too much last night. Whew! Thank goodness it was not a big deal. But it was scary, none the less. A and I agreed to triple check each other against the drug calendar moving forward to avoid any more mistakes. 

And below is my status update...

7 days til retrieval
12 days til transfer 
22 days til our first BFP

Emotionally...
A few moments of irritability and crankiness.
Physically...
Tired. Stomach is a little more swollen.
Mentally...
My mind is overly active lately causing mild insomnia.
Greatest challenge...
Trying not to worry that anything negative will come from our Gonal-F dosage mishap.
Biggest success...
Learning to laugh and let things go when they are out of my control.
My drugs...
75 IU Menopur. 225 IU Gonal-F. 5 IU Lupron. .5 mg Dexamethasone.
In love with...
My acupuncture which has been keeping me relaxed.
Current distractions...
The Bachelor Season 17. Ted. Gone Girl.


30 comments:

Toni Rapp said...

When you are giving yourself that many injections, it is scary! I was always double and tripling checking to make sure it was right dosage etc. So glad your doctor said it was okay. If not anything else, it was a little extra booster for the growing follies.

Btw I love Mickey Mouse bandaid.

Katie said...

It is so hard not to worry about each thing, especially when it could be a big thing like that. I'm so glad the dr. said he wasn't too worried. I dreaded so many of those nights, as I was so worried we would mess something up. One day at a time!

Whitney B. said...

That is so scary! I don't blame you for freaking out, I would have too! I really appreciate your openness with your IVF journey. We are currently seeking a 2nd opinion, after being told IVF was our only option. I am also enjoying The Bachelor (love Sean!) and Gone Girl rocked my world! Enjoy!

shay said...

oh nooo! thank god it turned out ok with the od of the one injection!

i have bruise marks all over my stomach from injections that hit blood vessels. those are the worst. and i had them over the summer - not that i was in a bathing suit much as i felt bloated from the meds. ugh.

keep your head up and keep thinking positive thoughts!

Lissa said...

how are you liking Gone Girl? I read it last month for a book club and it was an emotional roller coaster for me with love him then her than hate him then her the both!

Amy @ Geaux Girlie said...

I was thinking about you today and how your injections were coming along. I know each evening it's stressful to do the injections. I'm glad that you were able to connect with your doc and work things out!

All the best - Amy

Melanie Schultz said...

so glad that everything turned out okay! 7 days will be here before you know it!! Praying for you :)

nogoodeggs said...

Sounds stessful but so glad that you found out not to worry! Dont need one more thing to stess about!

L said...

Ahhh!!! THat is the exact reason why I refused to allow my hubby near my needles, even when I was doing them I always double and triple checked because of the fear. SO glad it didn't really have any impact on your protocol. Just think in a few weeks this will all be over and hopefully you will be getting a very happy phone call!! You're so close now...

The Granberrys said...

I just stumbled upon your blog...injects are not fun and it is always scary making sure you get the right dose! Praying this cycle is THE cycle for you!

Brittany Lea said...

Glad everything is all good! I hate giving myself injections and mine is only insulin!

Love your bandaids! :)

Amber said...

I would have freaked out also! I'm so glad the Dr. thought it was ok and was able to make adjustments for the mistake. Good luck as you get closer to retrieval!

Myers Family said...

One night after my neighbor(who happens to be a L&D nurse) gave me my Progesterone shot. We realized my RX vial had someone else's name on it....talk about freaking out!! Luckily it was the same meds but definitely scary.

Sarah said...

Oh how scary! But thank goodness it turned out to be not a big deal! We had so many emergency calls to the dr during our stims. Especially when my husband gave me a shot and it immediately started to bleed and bruise and BUBBLE. The skin all around bubbled! My husband was like " Oh my God what's happening??!!" Not what a girl wants to hear! haha Wow...7 days till retrieval! So exciting. ps- Love the Bachelor :) I like this guy! What girls do you like?

Elizabeth Lambert said...

How are the injections going? Are they needles or epi-pen style? I know we chatted about some of them, but these look pretty darn complicated. Definitely not mistake proof! Glad that the teeny mistake wasn't disastrous!

Myrna Wilson said...

Stay away from Dr Google! Remember, he got his degree online!
You're almost there!!

RadiantKristen said...

That is so scary! I was so paranoid about the timing of everything that I took my shots with me wherever I went after 2 pm, because I HAD to do them at 5:00 on the dot. I was probably an ideal egg donor, because I was so paranoid about messing up someone else's chances at a baby.

I'm kind of jealous you got to skip the Menopur for a night. That one is evil.

Are they going to put you on the oral that helps avoid OHSS? It's amazing, but I accidentally started it a day later than I was supposed to, and started to overstim. Be careful.

Kara said...

I remember how stressful it was giving those injections each night and making sure the dosage was right. I often wondered how in the heck they can trust normal everyday people like us with injections like this. Seems crazy, especially with so much at stake. Glad that you got ahold of your RE and he was able to calm your fears and adjust your injection for tomorrow.

Hugs,
Kara
www.waitingonbabyb.wordpress.com

Jess from Vintage Pie said...

Hello! New follower from the blog hop. Just wanted to say that you are an inspiration! I will be thinking of you as you go through this huge procedure. Admittedly I don't know much about IVF except that it is a real labor of love...wishing you no further stress and all the best x

http://myvintagepie.blogspot.com.au/

Hanna said...

you are incredible

sass @ (In)fertility Unexplained said...

Oh, I feel for you. This is the hardest part. Hang in there. You can do this!

Stephanie F said...

That's sounds awful to go through all that!! :(

But I'm so glad it didn't have any serious negative effects.

ThistleAshD said...

So glad it ended up not being a big deal. And obviously. The bachelor can make anything difficult better :)

Lauren said...

Ohh, how stressful. Sounds like something my husband would do. MEN!

amberlynn said...

Oh man!! I would have freaked to. Glad it was ok. 7 days probably seems like forever away but if ya keep yourself busy it will fly by! Praying for you!!!!!!!!

KC said...

Thanks for the post on my blog, I look forward to following your journey.
Holy cow, you must have freaked out when hubby miscalculated. My husband did all of my injections and it was never quite as I would have done it. Often times he shot into the air just to make sure "things were flowing" and I hated seeing the wasted meds. My initial thought when you said it was too much was better than too little. I wouldn't think it is a huge deal because they can just pull back the next day if the follies are growing too big. I think it is all a guessing game anyway and they never know how your body will react.
This is such an exciting and stressful time. Best wishes on your journey!!!!

Heather G said...

J!!! Good job not freaking out totally!! I know I probably would have... 2 thoughts - 1) I was always on the max dose. Always. The fact that you were able to drop down anyway is TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! That means they like your levels and like what they see!!!! I thought that as I was reading, before I got to the wrong dose part... 2) GOD knows how much medication you need. HE works through mistakes all the time! I've been praying for you, and I know that He has His hand on you, so too much medication... well, it's all in His hands! He blessed us with the medical ability and technology to have little ones despite illness, and He is still the only One in control. Love you!!!!!

LWLH said...

So proud of you.
I would be freaking out with those shots. I give you such big props love.

Alicia said...

I am so proud of you too. And I'm so glad your doctor was chill. Don't beat yourself up over small glitches - you guys are doing your best. These things happen to the best of us and there is a happy ending waiting for you. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi. I found your blog while panicking about OHSS. We are on the same protocol except for the steroid. I'm on my fifth night of stims and feeling pretty terrible with a lot of right-sided pain. My DH does the Menopur and Gonal-F injections for me too and I think he secretly likes helping. Fingers crossed for your BFP!

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