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Sunday, January 6, 2013

dare to dream


With every passing day, the possibility of our real, live baby coming home with us in 2013 seems more real. I started my stims yesterday. I'm not going to lie...those first shots of Gonal-F and Menopur sucked. A was getting frustrated with me because I wouldn't just do to it already. My "I'm not ready yets" were driving him crazy. I had a good cry out of frustration and then I finally let him give me the shots. The Menopur stung a little going in but it wasn't too bad. I'm an old pro at Lupron by now so I wasn't concerned with that one. Now that I know what to expect, tonight's shots should be fine. The anxiety for me comes from the unknown.

Some people have posted that their RE told them how many follicles he/she saw during their baseline ultrasound. Dr. M looked at both of my ovaries but didn't tell me how many he saw. There were a few on my right side but he said the left ovary was "being shy". In other words, it was hard to see. Does that seem weird to anyone?

Keeping up with my nutrition goals has been pretty easy. A got a juicer for Christmas so he's been juicing large quantities of healthy juice for the week. This is in addition to our homemade meals and vitamix shakes.

This is his recent concoction.
"Beeting Infertility" Juice
Ingredients: Organic Beets, Carrots, Celery and Green Apples


And a delicious salad that I made for dinner on Friday night.
Homemade Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing
1 part organic extra virgin olive oil
1 part balsamic vinaigrette 
1 part honey
Pepper

This salad includes: 
Organic Romaine lettuce, Pears, Pomegranate seeds, Goat cheese and Pumpkin seeds


We served this with crusty baked whole wheat sourdough bread and my famous garlic dipping sauce. 
It was so delicious! 

And the countdown is still ticking down...
10 days til retrieval
15 days til transfer 
25 days til our first BFP

Emotionally...
Excited. Happy. Peaceful.
Physically...
Stomach feels a little bloated. Felt a little ping in my ovaries today.
Mentally...
Thinking a lot about the future and focusing on visualizing what I want.
Greatest challenge...
Mixing and administering first stim shots.
Biggest success...
Letting myself be hopeful enough to buy something for our "baby to be".
My drugs...
Menopur. Gonal-F. Lupron. Dexamethasone.
In love with...
My hubby for laughing with me last night after administering our first stim shots.
soft, cuddly musical sheep from nordies to play lullabies for our baby lamb

Yes, I did it. Dared to dream. Acts of ultimate hope and faith in this process. Not only did I buy something for our "baby to be" but I looked up our due date. If this IVF works, our beautiful baby will be due on
Wednesday, October 9th, 2013.

An October baby.
And on that note, I'm off to meditate. 
Our next appointment is Thursday so I should have an update on how everything is progressing.
Hope y'all have a great week.


30 comments:

SarahJane Miller said...

You are so incredibly strong. Just wanted to let you know I will be thinking of you during this exciting time!

Andy said...

Hooray for sleep sheep! Keep up the positive attitude!

Aspgriswold said...

Great news!!! I hated Menopur also. My left ovary was hard to find initially. Once the follicles started growing it must have popped out from the hiding place and was easier to see. Sending you so many thoughts!!!!!!!

Myers Family said...

Praying for a great 2013!

I had to get progesterone shots from week 17-37 during my last pregnancy and each week I was still anxious about it. They didn't hurt it was just the poke I was worried about.

I can't wait to see your monthly pregnancy posts!

Mrs. H said...

This post just made my heart swell! You can feel your love and hope for this baby! Lots of prayers and love to y'all!

Xo, B
Brooklynstateofmindblog.blogspot.com

Katie said...

I hated the menopur shots - they definitely stung as they went in, but I did get more used to it. I don't remember hearing about the follicles on the baseline test - just all the ones after that. I will be thinking about you A LOT!

jAllen said...

A fellow IVFer bought a teddy bear to hold while she gets her shots, it will eventually be a present to their baby and will be something that brought comfort to both of them. Crossing my fingers for you!

Sarah said...

I love your list below your stats! I might have to steal that... if you don't mind!

I'm having a case right now of the "I don't wanna's." I need to suck it up. I've done this many times as I did many injectables cycles before this.

Ok I'm going to suck it up now and do that first shot.

Amanda Raye said...

I didn't get much info about my follicles till I was close to retrevial so don't worry!

ThistleAshD said...

Aww I hope this works for you. I have an October baby- best time to have a baby :)

Sarah said...

Eeek! This post is so positive, hopeful and exciting. I LOVE it. Haha I had to laugh at your "I'm not ready yets!" Mine were " No wait!" Over and over and over! They suck. But were worth it :)

ADSchill said...

How exciting! I am really hopeful for you as well. I think it's great you are making yourself be positive during this process. It can be hard to do but really is the best way to get through it all. Congrats on your first shots!

Also, my clinic didn't tell me about follicles at my baseline...there isn't much to see at that point. I also had a shy ovary and it was actually a little hard for them to get to during the retrieval. I hope that isn't the case for you. Come on October baby! I am a Libra and we are awesome.
MissC

Elizabeth Ann @ Elizabeth Ann's Recipe Box said...

That salad looks incredible! :-)

Alicia said...

This all sounds awesome Jessah. Thinking of you and A - keep on dreaming. You're doing so great!!!

JoJo said...

Jessah, I love your optimistic perspective. I was just reading a book about meditation and how its good to tell yourself you are pregnant and visualize conception. It will be easier for your body to prepare itself for it. Best of luck and hoping you get your BFP.

Darcy said...

Eek! It's getting so close, isn't it! We are so close in our cycles, and I cunrelated so much to your post my 'RE also did not tell me how many follies I had at baseline US. On my third US after starting stims,they started measuring and counting. I go in today for another US and to figure out when to trigger and do the ER! I wish you the best of luck :)

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to stop on by and let you know I've been thinking about you and sending prayers your way!

TracyZLesh @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

I love how positive you're staying through this all... it's admirable. I am still praying and thinking all good thoughts for you - I want this so badly for you!!! An October baby would be absolutely incredible... it's going to happen... all positive!

Lauren said...

Aww, that would be a good due date! My second baby's due date was October 10. Of course, he ended up coming on September 22... but still. Good time of year to have a baby!

Anonymous said...

Hello, I love and admire your positive thinking. I don't know you, but I will think about you a lot these next weeks and hope for a BFP.

Emily said...

Beeting Infertility drink...haha! I love it!

Love that you are doing EVERYTHING right within your control. I just know this IVF is going to work for you!

Whitney B. said...

I hope it all works out for you! No shame in crying before taking a shot, that has to be so hard. That drink and salad look and sound delicious, might have to throw that together myself! Wishing the best for y'all!

Amber said...

The Little lamb looks so soft and cuddly. I love it!

Unknown said...

Hi - I found you on Pinterest. I am an IVF veteran and admire your strength and positive attitude. I've been through 4 cycles, one of those resulting in miscarriage. It is hard to find this inner strength. I can tell you I suffered every range of emotions and I have now found a similar positivity to yours.
I'm a few days behind you - I start stims on Friday. I have done the exact protocol you are on, including dexamethasone. I had success with dexamethasone and will be taking it this cycle too, along with Lupron and Follistim.
I wish you all the luck in the world...and keep that positive energy!

Melissa_Before_40 said...

Giving you a big virtual hug as I read your blog. You are amazing lady and I'm so proud of you. Sending you lots of love...

Elizabeth Lambert said...

Love, love, love the lamb.

You're such an inspiration, Ms. Jessica!

ADSchill said...

Hey Jessica - I wanted to comment again and let you know that I have two blogs. I saw you commented on my Long Time Coming blog about wanting to know how I was and thought...hmm...I wonder if she follows my IF blog? I don't post often on LTC so you won't see many updates on there. MissConception is the blog I use regularly and it has all the updated info on me, the twins and my Cooper. I think you may have visited there, but in case there was confusion hopefully it makes sense now. MissConception doesn't show up on my profile!

http://missconception-ads.blogspot.com/

Alissa

Susannah said...

I just sent up a prayer for you and your future bundle of joy! I can't wait to hear how this treatment goes for you!

LaynahRose said...

Oh good heavens this would be like waiting on pins and needles! I'm sending you all the good vibes I can possible muster. Good luck sweet girl.

Jamie Sefcik || Hello Little Scout said...

Sending good wishes your way pretty girl! Crossing my fingers for you guys

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