With Thanksgiving being only a few short days away, it feels appropriate to give thanks. I feel truly blessed for all that I have in my life. Close family. Incredible husband. The best fur baby in the world. A job that I love. My peaceful home. Health and happiness.
I remember a time when I would pray every night for God to give me a child. To let me get pregnant. Every month when AF showed up, I was devastated. My heart was broken. I didn't know how to be happy if I couldn't be a mother.
But everything changed when I began trusting in God's plan for my life. Slowly, over time, I wasn't depressed anymore. I cried less. I didn't feel hopeless and purposeless. Even my prayers started to change. I found that I stopped praying for God to bless me with a baby. I started to pray for understanding and acceptance. I prayed for the ability to trust.
And now in my prayers, I just give thanks.
For everything that I have. It is not everything that I want. But it is so much more than I need, than I deserve and more than so many others have. I give thanks for the strength that I feel to face my situation and not let it break me down. I give thanks that we have the means to do IVF and the technology that even makes it an option. I give thanks for my loving, understanding husband who holds my hand on this journey even though it is sometimes so difficult.
It changes everything to stop asking and to give thanks.
I hope you all of you have a happy thanksgiving and that you're blessed with many things in your life to be thankful for.