nav

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Dear God.



With Thanksgiving being only a few short days away, it feels appropriate to give thanks. I feel truly blessed for all that I have in my life. Close family. Incredible husband. The best fur baby in the world. A job that I love. My peaceful home. Health and happiness.

I remember a time when I would pray every night for God to give me a child. To let me get pregnant. Every month when AF showed up, I was devastated. My heart was broken. I didn't know how to be happy if I couldn't be a mother.

But everything changed when I began trusting in God's plan for my life. Slowly, over time, I wasn't depressed anymore. I cried less. I didn't feel hopeless and purposeless. Even my prayers started to change. I found that I stopped praying for God to bless me with a baby. I started to pray for understanding and acceptance. I prayed for the ability to trust.

And now in my prayers, I just give thanks. 
For everything that I have. It is not everything that I want. But it is so much more than I need, than I deserve and more than so many others have. I give thanks for the strength that I feel to face my situation and not let it break me down. I give thanks that we have the means to do IVF and the technology that even makes it an option. I give thanks for my loving, understanding husband who holds my hand on this journey even though it is sometimes so difficult.
It changes everything to stop asking and to give thanks.

I hope you all of you have a happy thanksgiving and that you're blessed with many things in your life to be thankful for.


19 comments:

Janna Renee said...

It is so good to find that peace <3 Chin up buttercup! You have more strength than you know, and I'm sure that helps other bloggers that are going through this.

Team Harries said...

So true! We have so much to be thankful for. You have such a great perspective :)

Toni Rapp said...

Beautiful post!

Unknown said...

I don't comment much on blogs but this post resonated with me. After trying for over a year and a half, I'm starting to have more faith and patience and really realize that I'm not in control. And that's okay. Your comment about praying for understanding and the ability to trust is spot on and I admire your honesty. Thank you for the great post!

Anonymous said...

Your post really spoke to me. It's exactly (exactly!) where I'm at. Thank you for voicing where I'm at and praise the Lord for His working in our lives.

Nessa said...

That is such a true and marvelous statement. You are such an amazing woman and although our journeys are slightly different, it feels as though those are some of my thoughts. Thank you for sharing!

Becky said...

This post is almost an exact replica of the one that's been floating around in my head as I prepare for Thanksgiving! We must be on the same wavelength ;) Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving Jessah!

Jenn said...

Oh I love this! I just found your blog and LOVE it! Would you like to follow each other? :) xo

http://mylifeasawifetheblog.blogspot.com/

Stork Chaser said...

Perfect timing to read this. I've been depressed and wanting to boycott the holidays, but I'm full of thanks today for everything else. Thanks for sharing this reminder.

Myrna Wilson said...

Lovely post. I have been there and also had to let go.

Glad I found your blog!

http://wilsonfamilyproject.blogspot.com/

Emily said...

What a fantastic attitude! Being grateful makes more good things come our way too. I believe that! Thanks for the positive post!

lo @ crazy ever after said...

Thank you so much for this. Really. Thank you. I've been an emotional gross mess the past year after learning that we are struggling with this infertility garbage. I am not the strongest in my faith, but I've been repeating Philppians 4: 6-13. I memorized it as a child, and it has been the only thing that calms me in these fits of anxiety I find myself in. I am glad I found your blog. Best of luck with your journey. We do our first IUI this weekend. Eeeeeek!

Pam Mower said...

I agree, we have so much to be thankful for! Great insights you shared! I would love it if we followed each other :) Have a great Thanksgiving!!

www.pammowerdesigns.blogspot.com

Rebecca said...

Hi from ICLW. I always like finding a blog post where someone is truly thankful.

Azara said...

I love that line "It changes everything to stop asking and to give thanks." Beautiful post!

Visiting from ICLW.

http://inthetesseract.blogspot.ca

acoursetothefinishline said...

Hi from ICLW - I love this post, particularly bc it is so difficult to stay positive during infertility.

Dream Chase said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you too!! I know my prayers have changed a bit too throughout the journey and I'm looking at my blessings too. While wanting a child is huge, I feel blessed that wanting a child is my biggest issue in life.

ThistleAshD said...

I've recently blogged about learning to be thankful for exactly where I am in life too :) It's amazing how great and deep and wonderful God's love for us is, how contentment is found in Him alone and not the things we think we need/want. Loved how you say now your prayers are just giving thanks. Beautiful :)

www.heyjudedylan.blogspot.com

erika said...

Beautifully written.
Our successful IVF round was in mid January. Best luck on your cycle. It all felt intimidating at first, but looking back with a baby in my arms makes it think it was a piece of cake and it was the rightchoice for us.

Blogging tips