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Saturday, July 21, 2012

reflecting on life



I've been on a bit of a hiatus from blogging and from the world itself in many ways. At this point in my life, I needed some time to think and reflect on where I've been and where my life is going. It is so easy to get consumed by the infertility journey and neglect other things...things that are, in many ways, more important.

A and I have been focusing on reconnecting and enjoying each other's company. We are taking a break from TTC. It's hard to be present in your life and your relationship when you are obsessed with trying to have a baby. We need to get back in the habit of nurturing our relationship and ourselves. Being the people we were before life got so hard.

If we are ever blessed with a child, we will have the healthiest relationship possible because of the work we are doing right now. Adoption is an option. IVF is still an option. We have options. But we have to be strong as a couple in order to undertake either of those huge endeavors and bring another member in to our family.

Besides remembering all of the reasons that I fell in love with my husband, my main goal is to wake up in the morning and be the best person that I can be. Try to live like I  haven't been hurt, haven't made mistakes and focus on this moment. Not the past and not the future. But this moment right here. Because it's all that really matters.

14 comments:

Katie said...

Oh Jessah - I am so proud of your for taking the step to take a break. My husband and I have talked a lot about that and when the time is right to take a break. We are currently in the process of IVF number 2 and I am not sure if I could jump right into again, if this doesn't work. We have also said that this journey and the work we've done in our marriage is going to allow us to be a stronger couple, and stronger parents. I hope that this break is so good for you and for you relationship. I'm sure it was a hard choice to make and I admire your attitude! thanks for the update!

Michiana Birth Professionals said...

It's nice to read from you again.

Cardigan Chic said...

What an incredible post. Thank you for the reminder to live in the "present." Also, loved your photo, absolutely stunning.

Have a blessed rest of the weekend.

Laura said...

Wonderful post! Sounds like you've got the right attitude. It's hard living life when everyday is a struggle to hold it together. I admire you for doing the best for your family right now! Much luck and love. XO

myfertilityjourney said...

Very nice. 'Try to live like I haven't been hurt' really made me think. Thank you.

Good Timing said...

Good for you. Take some time for the two of you because that is the base of everything. :)

Crystal Marie~ said...

I don't think I have commented on one of your post before so let me introduce myself. My name is Crystal and my Hubby and I have been TTC for almost 8 years. Living in the present has been my mantra lately! It is so hard not to be sad about the past cycle or to try and fingure out what you are going to do on your "next cycle" before your current cycle is even over... Living in the now is hard but sooo important. Good luck with your journey. I know EXACTLY how you feel..
Crystal~
findingjoyingthejourney-crystalmarie.blogspot.com

EndoJoanna said...

It's good to hear from you and know that you are ok and working hard to make your life the best it can be! What an inspiration to many I'm sure! I wish you all the best and hope that one day, when you are ready, you have your miracle baby. Continue to take care of yourself. XO

DandelionBreeze said...

Such beautiful words... so inspirational :) It's so hard to get lost in IF... esp love your last paragraph... living in the moment - so hard but so so worthwhile :)) Love always xoxo

ADSchill said...

This is such a strong and positive post. I think this is a great time for you to strengthen your relationship. We took a break before deciding on IVF and it was a good idea. You can't go into treatments or the stress of adorption when you are at your best. Proud of you.

TracyZLesh @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Great honest post, Jess - I have been thinking of you a lot lately... would love to get together if you'd like to soon. xo

Sunflower said...

Very nice post - I think it speaks to all of us whereever we may be on this journey.
Hope you enjoy your break and reconnecting with your hubby.

kimberly @ lush lounge said...

I have been to, welcome back! Stay positive, what is meant to happen always does!

Jennifer said...

I meant to respond to this last Sunday when it came in. I loved this post and I'm so proud of you for being such a courageous person and loving wife. What a great gift you are giving yourselves. The next steps will be big ones, no matter the road you choose. Taking time to focus on what you have now is SO important. Hugs to you both!

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