So, this month was a big, fat bust. Next baby making opportunity won't be until June due to my ridiculously long cycles. We decided that June was our last month of trying naturally before moving onto IVF. Losing a month wasn't in the plan. Needless to say, I was feeling a little sorry for myself.
While I was fully immersed in my melancholy mood, I began thinking about how much time I've devoted to my blog in the last few months. Is it worth it? Do people even care what I have to say? Other things in my life are being neglected. Reading books. Exercising. Watching my favorite shows. All of these past times have taken a hit since the birth of my blog.
In the midst of my pity party, I had to pull myself together for book club. Since I'm the groups' organizer, there was no bowing out. But I'm glad I went. This group of wonderful ladies took my mind off everything that had been swirling around in my head.
|A few of the book club girls|
The timing was perfect for me to engage in that discussion. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Infertility sucks. Like, really sucks. But these are the cards that I've been dealt. Everyone goes through tough things in life. I can curl up in the fetal position and feel sorry for myself. Or I can stand up and fight. Fighting for me means...sharing intimate details of life on my blog in the hopes that my experiences will help others in some small way. It means being an advocate for people struggling with infertility. Helping others understand the real impact of infertility on women, men and families. Raising money to support RESOLVE's efforts. Shining a light on a disease that society has ignored long enough. Maybe this is my purpose. Or maybe I'm struggling with infertility because there is a lesson to be learned.
As if God hadn't made himself crystal clear....I got home last night and checked my email before bed. One email caught my eye. It was from a woman in Arkansas who had read my Infertility Etiquette post and was distraught about telling her infertile friend that she is pregnant. She thought I might be able to help. Stop the bus! She thought of me. This is a woman that I've never met. She lives half way across the country. But she thought that I could help. That blew me away. The realization that these words that I spend so many hours thinking about and crafting are meaningful to people. They can make a difference (at least to one woman in Arkansas).
Then this morning, I received an email from a blogger that I've come to love, Samantha. She wanted to tell me that God laid it on her heart to blog about me today. The NIAW post that I wrote inspired her and she wanted to empower others by sharing it on her blog. Wow! I'm humbled to receive emails like this.
My little blog (that I was cursing yesterday morning) is such a blessing. What on earth was I complaining about? It has allowed me to connect with fellow IF bloggers who have embraced me and continue to offer support in a way that only someone who has walked in your shoes can. And in return, I support them. And it has given me a platform to reach other women like Samantha who knew nothing about infertility before reading my blog and Mrs. Arkansas who actually took her infertile friend's feelings into serious consideration before announcing her pregnancy as a result of my post. That is powerful.
Message received. I hear ya loud and clear up there. I'm going to keep fighting...and blogging!
One last thing..I'd like to offer a sincere thank you from the bottom of my heart to those of you who read my blog posts and share them with others...and to those of you who support me through this difficult, heart wrenching journey and allow me to support you.