Saturday, January 30, 2016

9 Months as Mav's Mommy | A Quarterly Update

I'm late. I'm late. For a very important date. Finally getting my last quarterly update into cyberspace in case anyone is still reading and hasn't given up on me. Okay, I'm recommitting to my blog. Right now. I put it in writing. I'll be a better blogger starting today…ready, set, go. Two posts a month to start out with is my goal. Hold me to it, ladies.

The last quarter with Mav has been amazing. He is growing and thriving. And we couldn't be more in love. He's the most wonderful part of our lives. I'd be lying if I said that I don't miss my little cuddle bug. He's so squiggly, squelching and squirmy now. He wants to be on the go all of the time. I can't believe how big he's gotten so quickly. But there are still those moments when I rock him at night and hold him in my arms. The quiet moments where I just gaze at his face…and I see my little tiny baby again…just like the day we brought him home from the hospital. 

Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to believe that I'm finally a mama to the most amazing little boy I could've ever hoped for. My heart is so full sometimes…I think it might burst. Don't give up ladies. It is worth the fight.

Here's what Mav's been up to….

At Mav’s 7-month mark, he weighed 19. 1 lbs. (65th percentile) and 27.8 inches (72 percentile). He's kind of a big lil dude. My hubby says that Mav's going to be too big for me to carry before he can walk on his own. This just might be true if he keeps growing at this pace. 

Our family of three took a nice little trip to the coast where Mav checked out a cool surfboard for littles. Daddy and Mav watched the sunset every night and we just hung out listening to the waves crash. It was a nice getaway.

  • Rolls in both directions and twists and turns his body
  • 3rd tooth popped through his gums which didn't bother him too much
  • Loves drinking water out of his metal sippy cup even though he hasn't figured out how to tip it back yet
  • Gets excited when he hear Caspar Babypants songs | All You Pretty Babies and Baby's Getting Up
  • Squirmy, wiggly and always kicking his legs
  • Doesn't like being restrained in his car seat 
  • Ticklish | Feet and Tummy
  • Likes books and story time 
  • Babbles but no words that we can make out
  • First trip to the pumpkin patch 
  • Watched first sunset and rode in hiking backpack on daddy shoulders | Santa Cruz
  • First stretch alone with daddy while mommy was on a work trip | Nashville

At Mav’s 8-month mark, he was measured by mommy and the home scale read 21 lbs. The end of October and November were busy months for our family with the start of the holidays. Mav had a lot of "firsts" this month and he learned and grew so much. 

  • Gives high fives which Daddy thinks is the coolest 
  • Scoots on the hardwood floors
  • Rocks in a crawling position
  • Likes to play peek-a-boo
  • Has 5 teeth
  • Eats stage 3 baby food  
  • Doesn't like to be bored
  • Obsessed with cell phones
  • Loves to be pushed on his Wheelies Ride-On
  • First time on the swing set with daddy 
  • First time wearing costumes for Halloween | elephant, horse, mouse and lady bug
  • First weddings | Lake Tahoe and Willows
  • First time being in the snow | Truckee
  • Grandma flew up to visit from San Diego and went to first Christmas event | BabiesRUs
  • First cold | This was not a fun first for mommy but thankfully it wasn't too bad
  • First Thanksgiving | Mommy and Daddy gave a lot of thanks for Mav

At Mav’s 9-month mark, he measured 22.5 lbs. on the home scale. When I measure him at home, I don't really look at his height growth or percentiles. But he's growing. That I am certain of. This month was all about Christmas and learning how to "be on his way". 

  • Commando crawling | sometimes refer to this as dragging his lower body around by his arms
  • Loves bath time | shrieks with happiness when he hears the water start running
  • Size 4 diapers
  • 12-18 month clothes
  • 7 teeth pushed through the gums
  • Decided he's shy around new people and hides his face in mommy's chest
  • Eats non-pureed foods now | avocado, mangos, raspberries, papaya, sweet potatoes and squash
  • Lamb wubbanub is his greatest possession 
  • Enjoys trying to pull himself up on things
  • Weaned from sleep suit and prefers to sleep on his side or face down on his forehead 
  • Opens and closes cupboards at every opportunity
  • Waves "hello" and points to things he wants to show you
  • Grunts when he eats something yummy. Or just because. He's a grunty little thing. Such a boy!
  • First Christmas tree lighting
  • First time meeting Santa Claus
  • First flu shot 
  • Second time visiting Pismo Beach for Mommy and Daddy's 7th anniversary 
  • First carousel ride | San Luis Obispo
  • First holiday party | Mommy's date
  • Second time visiting So Cal family | Christmas
I can't believe how fast the time is flying by. The next update I do for Mav will be his first birthday which blows my mind.  Sigh. Time, please slow down! I'm going to blink and my little boy will be a man.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

6 Months as Mav's Mommy | A Quarterly Update

Where has the time gone? People tell you that it will fly by but boy oh boy it still throws me for a loop. I just held my best friend’s newborn the other day and realized how big Mav really is. He’s such a big boy now. He’s not a snuggly little lump anymore. He’s so curious about the world. Always looking around and trying to figure things out. 

It’s wonderfully sad. Wonderful because he is growing and thriving but sad because I want him to stay my little baby. He’s already so squirmy. Those rare moments where he lets me cuddle him and hold him like a baby are so precious. I still rock him to sleep whenever I can because it’s a magical time. I’m his comfort. I gaze, in awe, at his beautiful little boy face and thank God for allowing me to be his mother. 

At Mav’s 4-month mark, he measured 26.25 inches (90th percentile) and weighed 15 lbs. 2 oz. (55th percentile). We had a relatively quiet month adjusting to my return to work. 

  • Drools a lot. Daddy jokes that he has rabies. Mav started wearing bandana bibs to catch all the excess liquid that soaks his clothes. 
  • Started laughing. The best, most beautiful sound in the world. I find myself working hard to find ways to make him laugh. 
  • Discovered his feet 
  • Loves to kick in the bath 
  • Grasps toys and puts them in his mouth 
  • Transitioned from co-sleeper to crib in his own room 
  • Likes to hold his bottle while he eats 
  • Sleeps 8-9 hours in his sleep suit 
  • First Party | Daryn’s Graduation 
  • First babysitter (non-family) 
  • Passed his Non-Sedation ABR hearing test with flying colors! He can hear a pin drop. 

Since Mav usually has so many doctors’ appointments, I usually have his weight and height from a visit near his monthly milestones. But this month, I’m going to have to guesstimate. Based on his measurements on 9/9 (13 days after his 5-month mark), I’m going to guess that he weighed about 17 lbs. (67th percentile) and he would have measured about 27 inches

  • Tries to put his big toe in his mouth, which is tough with his big belly gets in the way.
  • Discovered his vocal chords. He screams for joy and screeches until he coughs. It pretty hilarious to hear! 
  • Size 3 diapers 
  • 9 to 12 month clothes 
  • Two bottom teeth. Those suckers are fully visible and they're sharp little things. 
  • Started on baby oatmeal 
  • Sitting up almost completely unassisted 

Mav is wearing 12-month clothes. 12 months! I can’t believe it. My husband jokes that he’s going to be too heavy for me to carry before he can walk on his own. Maverick still loves to eat and is chunking up nicely. I’m still exclusively pumping. But we’ve almost gone through my entire stockpile of frozen milk so I’ll have to start supplementing with formula soon. Mav weighs a whopping 18 lbs. according to our home scale this morning! 

  • Loves his dog! Kicks his legs, flaps his arms and wiggles all around when he hears the pup coming down the hallway.
  • Explores mommy and daddy’s faces with his hands when he’s being held and likes to pull mommy’s hair 
  • Graduated from his infant seat to his convertible car seat (which he doesn’t like) and sits facing out in his stroller so he can see the world 
  • Smiles and kicks when we sing his favorite songs | “You are My Sunshine”, “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and “Build Me Up Buttercup” 
  • Has tried squash, sweet potato, oatmeal and banana but still loves his milk the best 
  • Sits up completely on his own and can stand up if holding onto something 
  • Learned how to splash in the bath and loves his bath toys 
  • Still hates tummy time and has a sizable bald spot in the back of his head as a result of all the time he’s spends on his back 
  • Hasn’t transitioned out of his sleep suit since he doesn’t roll over yet 
  • Doesn’t like having his diaper changed. He gets bored so he kicks and fusses. 
  • First kid’s birthday party | Lucy 
  • Pediatric ophthalmology appointment | Passed vision test 
  • First trip to the library | Mother Goose on the Loose 
  • First trip to Apple Hill

Happy half year birthday, my sweet little boy! 
The last 6 months have been the best days of my life. We are so lucky to be your parents.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

I'll Never Forget

When I was struggling with infertility, I remember feeling left behind when my TTC sisters would get pregnant. It always seemed like they’d forgotten the pain and moved on…while I was still sitting in the same place with empty arms. I hated that feeling.

I want you to know that I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget the agony and heartache of infertility. I’ll never forget the sobbing can’t-catch-your-breath tears and sleepless emotional nights. I’ll never forget the difficult decisions and deep sorrow after each loss. I’ll never forget the fear in the pit of my stomach…fear that I would never know the love that exists between a mother and her child and never find happiness again. I’ll never forget the darkness that existed during the longest six years of my life. And I’ll never forget those of you who are still in the trenches… trying month after month to conceive your miracle babies.

The truth is that I’ve had a hard time finding my voice in this space lately. My past posts were all born out of my sorrow and struggle. Pain inspires more than happiness. I haven’t written because I don’t want this space to become “just another mommy blog”. Lord knows there are enough of those out there already.

I still intend to share my journey through motherhood. However, I feel compelled to continue to be a part of this community. To be a cheerleader. A dear friend. Maybe even a beacon of hope for some of you who feel alone and are on the verge of giving up on your dreams.

A very wise friend said to me the other day, “you have to find the way to keep writing because your blog isn’t about you.”

Say what? It’s not.

“No, he said. It’s bigger than that. It is about your readers. And they still need you to write and offer your perspective as someone who’s endured so much and overcome a huge obstacle in your life.”

So at 5AM, I’m sitting in my dark bedroom, stealing the only free moments of my day to write. To tell you…. you are not alone. You will find happiness again. There is a baby monitor beside me and I’m waiting for a little boy to cry for me. ME! His mommy. 

There were so many days and nights that I worried this day would never come. But it has. It’s real. This is my life. The dirty diapers. The pumping and feeding. Juggling work and family. Drying his tears and reveling in his smiles. Everything we went through to get here was worth it because he is our world.

My plea to you is not to give up. Your sunshine could be just around the next bend. Keep going. After each failure, I wanted to give up. Throw in the towel. To crawl under my covers and never come out. But I just put one foot in front of the other and kept going. Through prayer and determination, I hope that all of you who want to become mommies are able to achieve your dreams.

Baby dust to all of you!

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